Holiday Surprises......

Posted by Barbara Bolin on Thu, Dec 24, 2009 @ 02:19 PM

The holiday season can hold unpleasant surprises when adult children spend time with a parent and realize that it has become difficult or unsafe for the elder to live alone. Many senior communities report increased tours and enquiries based on alarming circumstances in the home such as evidence of poor nutrition or hygiene, financial mismanagement or exploitation, deteriorated living conditions, and a diminished capacity to plan, remember, or respond to challenges. It is a common but unpleasant realization that even though the parent has seemed normal during phone conversations, the stark truth is that he or she has been struggling. The spoiled food, mixed up medications or unfilled prescriptions, the soiled clothing and disarray, and the disrepair of home or vehicle tells the story of a shrinking world and shrinking capacity to make sound decisions. The parent has lost the ability to look out for themselves, but may still vehemently protest they don’t need help or interference. This is because they have lost the ability to make abstract judgments, or to recognize problems and formulate solutions. Adult children have to quickly overcome their own denial, mobilize a safety plan, and execute the steps to follow up with necessary changes. One piece of advice would be to seek information and support from friends, clergy or physician. A health assessment is crucial and the parent’s doctor can be an invaluable ally in starting the change process. It can be challenging but it is one of the most loving gifts a child can give a parent.

Tags: Assisted Living Decisions, Seniors, Holidays, Families

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Holiday Surprises......

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